I am now on Twitter

So I gave in and signed up today for Twitter. Why? I don't know. I am gonna try it out and see if I like it. If I don't then I will either leave it alone or delete it.

I am starting to get my mind into Health/Fitness mode. I wanna workout and take my first step and start walking around the my neighborhood. I just can't get started. I know I have to put my mid to it and start walking when I don't want to and maybe that will start me up again.

I have been on this Journey on this Diet wagon for a long time. Since I was 7 and that is been a long time and I just want to finally end this journey and start a new one by Maintaining the weight I want to be at but now this wagon has just stopped and didn't wanna go anywhere.

I also have been thinking that when I get married I don't want to be a fat bride. I want to look good in my pictures. I don't know when that will be but I gotta start NOW.

Carbs

Michigan Stadium: The Big House

Dream

Dream. I love to dream about my futue how it's gonna be. What Career I am gonna end up having to when I am gonna get married and how many kids I will have and if I will ever make it to California. All I can do now is dream and one day I will come to see these things.

Nutritionist and Personal Trainer

I wish I had the money for a Nutritionist and Personal Trainer. I was thinking about this and maybe it will help me but the thing is that I won't be able to stick to what ever they throw at me. Like eating healthy and sticking to a exercise routine maybe the reason I failed at this is that I have tired to do it on my own and I don't stick with it for either a day or 2 weeks.

If I do decide to go with these and try them out I have to be dedicated to sticking with a program. I also have to be able to afford it too.

I don't want to be fat anymore

Tom called me on my sell and left a message and apologized and said that he didn't know that he hung up on me and he didn't want any bad feelings between us. I just need a few days to calm down before I call him and talk to him again.

I was thinking about when I get married. I don't want to be a fat bride. I want to be able to look great in my dress. I saw how my ex's wife Amanda looked in hers and I don't want to look like that. My wedding will be a lot better than hers. I will have top notch Vendors. My dress will be a lot nice and expensive than hers.

I don't want to be fat anymore. My mom told me that I shouldn't have red meat anymore. It's bad for my health and also she told me she doesn't want me to have a heart attack and die. She was walking behind me as we were coming out of MGM Casino and told me that if my back side looked like my front meaning my backside is thinner than my front. All my weight is mostly in my belly. I need to lose that and fat on my legs, arms, and my neck (buffalo hump). I hate my buffalo hump that my mom referrals to as a camel hump. I also hope my feet will get thinner as I lose the weight. I am a 8 1/2 wide width. I want to wear all these cute high heel shoes but my feet are so damn wide.

I also can not wait until I am able to lose all this weight and have a photo session with a new body and a new wardrobe with some cute outfits. I am still looking into photographers. I have a few in mind. The money isn't a issue. I just want some kick ass looking photos. It's been a long time since I had a professional picture done. The last time was when I was in high school and that was 11 years a

He left today

Tom left for the Seminary today. I got pissed at him last night cause he hung up on me for no reason at all. He got pissed at me cause I didn't call him to tell him that I wasn't coming over. Then he hung up on me. I don't need to deal with that now. I just hope he sees this through for 6 years and becomes a priest.

Late NIght Blogging

Well Tom called me late at night and it's been a while since he has done this. He is leaving for the Seminary on Wednesday. I told him I would pray that he makes it but something in me makes me think that he won't make it through but I pray that he will and he will become a priest.

I can't stop thinking about when I get married. I am not even sure who I will marry. All I know is that it will be better than my ex's and my friend's Sarah's wedding. I will write more tomorrow.

I'm going to is better than wanting

I was thinking last night that I was always saying that I want to move to California when I should be saying I am going to move to California with in the next few years. As soon as I start a job and save enough money for rent and to buy any supplies I will need for my apartment.

I am hoping that I can find a job soon so that I am able to save enough money early and I am closer to moving to California.

Food :Log

I have a hard time keeping track of what I eat. I hate logging the calories/fat grams/carbs. I watch my sodium intake> I gotta get in the habit of drinking 8 glasses of water again.

I gotta discipline myself and resist the temptations of the bad foods. I am gonna write down what fruits and veggies I like.

I can't get myself motivated

I am the only one that can change me and do something about it. But I can't get into the habit of being more active. I want to get into running but I hear so many things about you need to start off but walking then run a minute but then I heard that I need to start getting in to routine of just walking a treadmill and then build up my endurance into jogging then start running. I know that I will quit of I start off with just trying to run. I want to run Marathons for Charity and sign up for the Team in Training. I am so confused. I don't know who to listen to and where to start up again. When I was younger it was easy for me to get back on the diet wagon and now it's harder and I just can't get myself to get back on. I want and need to be more active. It's better said then done and I need to start somewhere. I heard that you need to start even when you don't even feel like it. I can't get myself motivated.


I also need to discipline myself. I want to eat healthier. I am not giving up carbs and cheese right away. I need to slowly limit how much I eat of both.

Motivation

Today's Horoscope

Your mind could be on service to others today, Kristine. You've been doing very well for yourself, and therefore you might be thinking in terms of sharing your good fortune in some way. A friend may have some ideas for groups that you both could get involved with. Make sure before you commit to anything that you really want to do it. You won't want to be entrusted with a cause, and then let others down. Be certain!

Taco Bell

I can no longer eat Taco Bell anymore. IT does agree with my stomach and it doesn't taste good anymore. This is a good thing cause this is one less junk fast food place I don't have to go.

Love is on my mind

Horoscope for today

Love is probably on your mind for most of the day, Kristine, so give your heart the full attention that it desires. It could be that you are having trouble communicating with a loved one right now, so try to be patient. It is one of those situations in which you are trying to pass someone on the sidewalk and as you move left, the other person moves right. If you move right, the other person moves left. Each time you bump into each other head on. Let the other person make the first move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love has always been on my minf. I want to be and feel loved. I am just waiting for that time when I will be the right guy that will come into my life and love me for me.

Green Tea

I am getting sick of always drinking water but I know that I need my water but I found a way to get my water and also get more healthier. I love Green Tea so I will boil water and add 4 tea bags and cool it then I will add 2 packets Splenda to sweeten it up. I need 3 cups a day to get in the health benefits I need to keep me healthy.

Support

Well I am so glad to have support in my weight loss journey. I used to have 2 gyms and soon I will only have one. I signed up for LA Fitness cause it was new and it had up to date equipment. Well I just canceled that. My older sister used to being but she is canceled hers a long time ago. I have thought about it and I hardly ever go and its a waste of money. So now I can have peace of mind knowing I don't have to pay for something I am not using anymore. I don't like Fitness USA but since I have been a member for a long time it's a lot cheaper than LA Fitness.

Pushing Myself to Change Myself

I need to push myself to workout so that I can start exercising Once I start getting into it I will hopefully be motivated into workout a lot more often.

Mt old classmate almost lost 50 lbs and now she is a lot skinner than me. I keep asking myself "What is wrong with me, why can't I stick to something for more then a couple of months". I am pissed at myself for doing this through out my life. I need to break my habit and start getting serious about my weightless and stop kidding myself. I am 30 years old and as I get older I want it's gonna be a lot harder for me to lose this weight. I know this is my decision and what I am deciding now is to slowly change my habits from my bad eating to my laziness and now I have to Eat healthier and be more active in my life. That is a change that I will slowly get myself into.

berry yogurt parfaits

one small tub of yogurt
Plus 1 cup of granola
1 cup of berries
a little bit of honey mixed in.

They say when you don't have junk food in the house then you are less likely to eat it. Well in my case I still live with my parents and unemployed. When I do get a job I will save money to go grocery shopping for myself so that I can cook for myself and have it be healthy. It will also save money.

I have to weigh in next week on the 20th and then again on the 31st. I know that I won't win the competition against my mom but I still have a few more weeks to at least lose a little.

Tomorrow is a new Day

Tomorrow is a new day to start a new healthy lifestyle. I need to become more active. depends on the weather if its' not too hot, I wanna go on a walk for at least 15 minutes. I need to clear my head and start fresh but I know that little thing inside my head in gonna say ahh I don't feel like it I'll go later or tomorrow. I don't know what it is but it usee to be easy for me to go back on track but sice I got older and a lot of failure in my past has gotten me to this pint and that voice that popped into my head discouraging me chagne my lifestyle.

I need to find a way to get rid of that little voice that is no good in my wanting to change my life.
I also have to TRY and not give up so easy. I am 30 and I need to start this again and stick with it. I have to give up the excues and start taking care of myself.

Longest application process ever

I just filled out a very long job application for Henry Ford Hospital where my friend Jenny Works. I am hoping that I can get a interview there and be able to get a job where she works. It'll also be nice to start working again and start making money. The job is for Environmental Services Assistant -contingent/days position. It is a 8 hour job but I don't know if it's full time. I hope since I do have experince in it that I will have my application looked at first. It doesn't say how much it pays but I hope it's between 10 to 12 dollars.

Complete Description - Summary

Cleans, disinfects, and/or polished a variety of items within an assigned area through use of various equipment, specified antiseptic solutions, and detergents. May sweep floors, scrub tubs and toilets, polish fixtures, empty refuse containers, and the like in accordance with established policies, procedures, and guidelines. Maintains cleaning products, supplies, carts, and equipment in clean and orderly fashion. Performs routine maintenance on equipment notifying manager of damage or major repairs. Returns unused supplies to storage area. Prepares patient rooms by removing and replacing soiled linens, disposing of refuse, making beds, and rehanging curtains. Inspects and ensures patient rooms are clean, appropriately stocked, and neatly arranged.

Going up and down like a Yo-Yo

I am getting sick and tired of losing and gaining weight. Why can't I just lose the weight and keep it off. I finally want to see my goal weight and live my life with out the worry about me looking the way I do.

I want my portrait session with either The Shooting Gallery or Arising Images. I don't know yet. I want this so that its gonna be a new look and I need good and professional pictures to show off my new body.

Organize my Life

I am trying to clean up my life. Starting with my room and the clutter that I have through out the years. I need to organize my life. I need to call Sarah and she needs to start helping me with finding a job. I also have been looking for a car too. I also have been thinking about my future wedding from where I want my reception venue to be.

I am hoping that I can get a job soon. I need to start making money and saving money to move out. I am either gonna get a apartment here in Michigan or save enough for California.

New Outlook on the Food I used to eat

A couple of years ago I was watching You Are What You Eat on the BBC. The women on that show told these girls what they put in a hot dog and after that I am staying away from hot dogs. I will also not eat Duck/rabbit/Venison (Deer)/Calfs (Baby Cow) and now bacon (Pig-Pork Belly). Ewww I will not touch that stuff anymore. I was watching Hows its made and they both had Bacon and Hot Dogs. I am so glad I saw that and now I know I don't need that in my body.

Then fast Food. I can not eat Taco Bell anymore. My stomach does not agree with it. So I guess me not eating these food is a good thing. The less I eat the better it is for my health. I am taking this eating healthy step my step cause I know if I do it I will end up giving up.

As I came back from Cali. I have been craving Thai Food (Pad Thai)/Sweets/ and Avocados or guacamole. No I am not pregnant. These seem like some what of a healthy change except for the sweets. I have a huge sweet tooth.

I am trying to change my eating habits and not eat beef anymore. I still eat chicken but I wanna be a Vegetarian one day. I love animals and I need to elimate beef and pork. The cute cows and pigs. These small little changes but I am getting closer to being a Vegetarian.