A few weeks ago Tom and I got in a fight. After a couple weeks has passed I thought that he would call but he didn't. So decided to take the step to make the first move. I commented on his Facebook page and then that is where it started and he did actually call me but I didn't know until late so we hung out for the first time yesterday. It felt weird but I am glad that everything is back to the way it was. I really really missed him. We went to look at a house for him but it seems that it's like we are looking at them as if we were a couple. I'm not gonna lie in my head I feel that we are a couple. He said that once he finds a house he wants it to be long term and with me I think he sees it as me being his wife and us starting a family. Also I seen a little change in him. He is a little nicer. Maybe that time away from each other made him think like it did for me.


If I did marry him I would be lucky cause he won't ever hit me. He is good with this hands. He likes to work outside that I don't so that I can leave for him and I can take care of the inside. He is also handy and good with cars. There are the negative things but maybe he will change those.

Competiton

I haven't written in here in a while and I thought I would cause I need to get something off my chest. I am a future business owner and I am always up to date on my competition. My ex-bf wife owners her own Bridal Boutique and I look at their Facebook page.They have been in newspapers and recently on Fox 2 news. Now they want to open a second location and they haven't even been open a year. They just opened up in January. I know that business is doing well for them but in my option that is a STUPID thing to do. If it was my business I would just focus on my brides and making sure I bring them the best of merchandise for their wedding. I will be surprised if they do well at their second location. If I were to open a second location I would solely focus on my business and making sure that is successful and I am ready to open up another location.

I am going to be keeping up to date and seeing if they do open up another location and if that location will be successful.

The other side of me

OK, I am not my self right now. I am drunk and I feel good. I wish Tom was here to I can tell him how I feel, It's a lot easier for me to do then when I am sober. That doubt fades away and I am, able to express my feeling opening. Why can't I do that whenI am not under the influence of alcohol.

A POEM ABOUT OUR GIRLFRIENDS

Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger.
Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be
unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she's got the car,
the house, the clothes~~~~ might be lonely.
And the word says, 'If I have not Love, I am nothing.'
So, again, love you.  Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,
'I am too Blessed to be Stressed and too Anointed, to be Disappointed!'
'Winners make things happen, Losers let things happen.'
Be 'Blessed' Ladies

My dream last night

The last part of my dream was great. I was laying down and Tom came up to me and starting to peck kissing me on the cheek then I rolled over and somehow we started to make out. I woke up happy.I just wish that would of happened in real life.

Here is what dreammoods.com says..... To dream of a kiss, denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment....This dream is also symbolic of young love and fresh romance. Perhaps the dream is telling you that you need to inject some more romance into your waking relationship......If you are kissing a close friend, then it represents your respect and adoration for your friend. You are seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her.

1 sided Friendship

It pisses me off and it also upsets me that my friendship with Tom is 1 sided. I just got off the phone with him and it proves to me that what ever I want to do with my friends he doesn't want to do, I am ALWAYS doing things with him with his friends but NOT ANY MORE. I need him to see that he is 1 sided. Next time he wants to do something with his friends I will say NO. I need to put my foot down and make him see that I will NOT hang out with him until he shows me that our friendship is 2 sided a 50/50 friendship not a 100% 1 sided friendship. It's all about him and it upsets me that I have feelings for him and this is how he is. I am also questing if I even want him as a boyfriend if that comes down to it.


So tonight I will have fun with my friends and forget about him.I am so sick and tired of his 1 sided SHIT!!!!!

You Are

Baby when I look at you
You know it breaks my heart in two
How beautiful you are
I've seen you in a million dreams
Now you're finally here with me
We will never be apart
I wanna hold you forever
That's all i'll ever need

[Chorus:]
You are my love
You are my life
My heart and soul
The truest friend i've ever known
You are my world
All of my dreams
My fantasy, my reality
I love everything you are
Yes I do

Every time I close my eyes
It hits me so deep inside
How real this feeling is
I'm intoxicated by your touch
It's a sweet, sweet rush
I'm in love with your kiss
You're the one that I trust the most
You changed me

[Chorus:]
You are my love
You are my life
My heart and soul
The truest friend i've ever known
You are my world
All of my dreams
My fantasy, my reality
I love everything you are

[Chorus:]
You are my love
You are my life
My heart and soul
The truest friend i've ever known
You are my world
All of my dreams
My fantasy, my reality
I love everything you are

Everything, I love everything you are
------------------------------------------
This song by Jimmy Wayne explains how I feel about Tom. Not only do I love the song's lyrics, I love the music.

I'm falling in love with Tom more every time I hang out with him.

~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

My doubts

The reason I have the doubts I do is that I have never followed through anything I wanted to do. I just gave up. Also no one believes in me. All I hear are negative comments telling me I can't do it.

That is why I'm so determined into showing everyone that say I can't so it and shocking them. I will feel so better knowing that I didn't quit and I stuck it through.


~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

Dreams

Lately I have been having these common dreams and I hope they are trying ot tell me something. So every time I have a dream I look it up on dreammoods.com.

1. Last night I have had a dream that I saw a ring on my left finger. The finger you would have your wedding ring on. I couldn't get it off. Here is what this dream means....To see or receive a ring in your dream, symbolizes emotional wholeness, continuity, commitments and honor. If the ring is on your finger, then it signifies your commitment to a relationship or to a new endeavor. You are loyal to your ideals, responsibilities, or beliefs.
2.  Then a few nights ago I had a dream that I seen a concert and it was simple minds and the 2 songs I heard was Don't you for get about me and Alive and Kicken. When I got up I had  Don't you for get about me. I love 80's music.Here is what this dream means....To hear harmonious and soothing music in your dream, signifies prosperity and pleasure. You are expressing your emotions in a positive way. Music serves to heal the soul.
3. Last week I had a dream about fish and they were out of water. I tried to pick them up with some bags cause I hate touching fish. Here is what this dream means....The fish is also an ancient symbol of Christianity and Christian beliefs. Consider the common phrases "like a cold fish", "fish out of water" or something that is "fishy" about a situation. It may also imply a slippery or elusive situation. Perhaps your dream could be telling you that "there are plenty of other fish in the sea", with regards to some relationship issue.

On the edge of quitting

I haven't wrote in a long time and since then I got a job that I hate. It was a HUGE mistake to accept it. They treat me like shit just like K-Mart did. But this time im not taking it anymore. I want to quit sooo BAD. I am on the edge of just saying screw it but I am waiting for to see if they lose this account cause it's better for me to get laid off then to quit. I have quit jobs before and I will do it again.

I can not stand this job anymore I wish I could just find another one but it's harder then it seems.


~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

Recent reviews by Kristine Z.

What's this?

It's Offical

I was talking to Tom last night and he was asking me if I wanted to go to a Air show and I said why don't you ask Cheryl (the girl he likes) and told me that I see her as a gf and he concedes me a bff. So that confirms it and I told him I had some bad news and that I have made up my mind that I will be moving to California, he said awe. That's ok I was thinking about moving up north. He doesn't want to be a priest anymore but he wants to be a professior. He changes his mind so many times. I gave up and the ties are gone and the wall and sheild are still up so that my heart can mend.

Me moving to California will give me a new start in my life and a new chapter in my life. I can't stop thinking about how happy I will be when I move there. I love the atmosphere and vibe when I visit.

~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

Big things are happening

Well I'm at work and everyone got done early we are just waiting for Urgent Care to close at 10 so we can go in there and clean and I'll be done in 10 minutes. Hopely no one will come in last minute like yesterday. I now have an hour until Urgent Care closes and then we can be on our way. Right now it looks like no one is in the waiting room. It looks quiet and that is a good sign.

I'm almost done with my second week here at work. I can't believe how fast this day and week is almost over. I still hate this job and I won't quit until I can find another job. I also need the money. I got a lot of saving to do. First is car insurance and then there is my trip to California next year and then my big trip to Greese in a couple years. So that is a lot of hard work.


~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

Career Path

The more I look for a job path that deals with cleaning the more I don't want to do that on life. It's a job that no one wants to do and you look down upon.

I just started a job on Monday. I just got done with my first week and I survived that. It's a crappy job that I hate doing. It's only temporary until I can find something better.

When I'm working all I think about is my future and how bad I want to start my own business. I will not be in the cleaning industry for long. Just until I can find another job.

~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

One Step Closer

I have been working for 3 days and everyday I am getting used to being on my feet. Everytime I work I keep telling myself that I am getting closer to saving money for my future. A car is the first thing I need to save money for and second is my future business with a few spending cash such as a personal trainer and for my eating plan that I want to get from Everyday Gourmet.

Now I need to focus on what I need right now and that is weightloss so that I my job isn't as hard.

I don't like my job but I know it's only tempory until I can find something better.

~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

Polish Cucumbers and Sour Cream

• 2 lg. cucumbers
• 1/2 c. sour cream
• 2 tsp. sugar
• 1 tsp. finely chopped chives
• 1 tsp. chopped dill, if desired
• 1 tsp. salt
• Dash of pepper
• A little vinegar

 

Peel and slice cucumbers very thin. Cover with boiling water, let stand for 20 minutes. Drain and plunge cucumbers into ice water. Let stand a few minutes, then drain again, well. Place in refrigerator for half hour to chill.Mix sour cream with sugar, pepper, chives, dill then salt cucumbers. Then mix with sour cream mixture. Add a little lemon juice or vinegar. Serve very cold.

Shield, Wall, Cut the ties, & Clear the mind

Shield the heart, put up a Wall, Cut the ties, & Clear the mind. As I was done saying this to myself my cell phone rang and it was Tom in his low tone of voice asking me what I was doing this weekend. He asked if I wanted to come over and see a movie over his house cause his parents we're gonna be going to Florida with his sister for a week. I don't know what he has planned. I don't know what he wants and I'm not gonna wait anymore.


~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

Fish Oil Pills

I read a article about how fishoil can help with depression. I've been feeling down for a while now. I wanted to get out of this slump so when I heard that if you take a fishoil pill it'll help with depression. I've been taking these since I heard. I feel alot happier and it also helps your heart.

I forgave Tom yesterday. I heard from Rev Run on Twitter said: "Love is like quicksand, the deeper u fall in it,the harder it is to get out of it". This is so true. No matter how much Tom pisses me off. I have fallen in love with him and I've fallen hard. We were at National Coney Island yesterday and out of the blue he told me to give me daj buzi and then I told him in Polish on moje bupa. I think he seriously wanted me to kiss him but then again he jokes a lot. I wish he knew what he wanted. If he likes me then why can't he tell me. I'm old fashioned so I'm waiting for him to make the right moves to tell me what he wants.


~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

He's done it again

Yes, it's right. He's done it again. I'm not gonna answer my phone when he calls. I'm seriously thinking about not being friends with him. I don't need his friendship if he is gonna keep on disappointing me. I do forgive but I never forget but if you do it one too many times like Tom did it gonna make me question my friendship with him like I am doing now.


~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~

Positives & Negitives

I'm thinking about the Positives & Negitives to Tom. I'm really confused. I don't have time to deal with this (think about it). My #1 pritory is to find a job and start making money.

I'm also still thinking about moving to Cali and opening up a business there. So I do have alot on my mind and on my plate. I'm not waiting for no one. I have nothing holding me back here so it's easier to make a real decision when it comes down to it.
~Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~