Traditional Bathroom by Pasadena General Contractor Reaume Construction & Design

Traditional Bathroom by Ojai Architect Maraya Interior Design

Was Caught

I was working in a new website for my future business and my mom caught me. I was right on how she would react. She said I wanna copy off of my ex's wife. I told her as she walked that I wanted to do this for a long time. It pisses me off that she doesn't think I'm serious. I'll show her when I'm successful that I have her to thank for not believing in me. I'm going to make myself a success without her support even though it's gonna be hard I know where to get help and all I need is to believe in myself. I'm not going to share anything about my progress about my business to anyone who doesn't believe or support me. It'll be just a waste of breath.

I'm gonna apply for a grant and hope I'll be able to get it. I don't want a loan and have to worry about paying it back. Now all I need is a SCORE mentor to help me and figure out how much money I need to start my business.

One more time

I have been thinking about moving to California again. It sounds like a good idea and every time I think about anything that deals with Cali I get happy tears in my eyes. But what is holding me back is of course you know who. TOM. Why I don't know.

He was me kiss me and I want to kiss him but there is something that is stopping me. I think that it's the fact that I need him to confirm his feelings for me and that friendship part is still there and I don't know if he's serious or kidding around just to see what I would say. We need to be on the right page if we are going to take it to the next level.

Too many emotions

There are many emotions running through my head.

To start today Tom and I spent the day together and what really got to me was when he dropped me off and this is how the night ended:

Tom: If you give me a kiss I'll walk you to the door

Me: I'm not giving you a kiss

Tom: Then I'm not walking you to the door.

What does it mean. I don't know it gets me confused. That caught my by suprise.

Then work is so overwhelming. I'm trying to get a failing business back on its feet. But it's too much for me.

I care more then the owners do. I give my advice and they don't take it. I wanna look for another job. I like the fact that I have my nights and weekends off.

I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!!!

Life can only get better

I spend most of yesterday with Tom and we went to dinner at the casino with Tom's friend Matt and after dinner he said to me you know I do truly love you. If he meant it, it really did melt my heart. I really do love him. Damn I've fallen in love with him. I should of kissed him when the ball dropped. I wanna kiss him. I just wish we knew what our true feelings are for each other. I know that he's focusing on school and getting re-certified as a teacher and I'm focused on working on my mission to helping my moms friend with their business and saving money.

I'm a lot happier with my life now and it can only get better.

Work Agenda

Even though it's not my business I am consistently thinking about my job. How I can improve the business and what needs to get done for the next day. I made an agenda of work that needs to get done and it's a a lot. All I need to do is focus on that agenda and take it one day at a time to check those things off my agenda. I go into work early to get started on things that need to get done on my agenda. I am happy with my job and happy to be helping my moms friend get her business updated. I will be there as long as I need to be and if I can ever find a full-time job.

My moms friend helped me with hiring me and now it is my mission to help promote the business and update it.

Maybe Changes

I was thinking what would happen if I was left the bookstore since my moms friend is older and isn't gonna be able to do it for much longer. I'd like to open my own business but this is my main focus right now.

I was thinking about if I were to get the business. I would do some minor changes like updating the record keeping system, do major cleaning, and start creating a new store layout.