Career Path

The more I look for a job path that deals with cleaning the more I don't want to do that on life. It's a job that no one wants to do and you look down upon.

I just started a job on Monday. I just got done with my first week and I survived that. It's a crappy job that I hate doing. It's only temporary until I can find something better.

When I'm working all I think about is my future and how bad I want to start my own business. I will not be in the cleaning industry for long. Just until I can find another job.

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One Step Closer

I have been working for 3 days and everyday I am getting used to being on my feet. Everytime I work I keep telling myself that I am getting closer to saving money for my future. A car is the first thing I need to save money for and second is my future business with a few spending cash such as a personal trainer and for my eating plan that I want to get from Everyday Gourmet.

Now I need to focus on what I need right now and that is weightloss so that I my job isn't as hard.

I don't like my job but I know it's only tempory until I can find something better.

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Polish Cucumbers and Sour Cream

• 2 lg. cucumbers
• 1/2 c. sour cream
• 2 tsp. sugar
• 1 tsp. finely chopped chives
• 1 tsp. chopped dill, if desired
• 1 tsp. salt
• Dash of pepper
• A little vinegar

 

Peel and slice cucumbers very thin. Cover with boiling water, let stand for 20 minutes. Drain and plunge cucumbers into ice water. Let stand a few minutes, then drain again, well. Place in refrigerator for half hour to chill.Mix sour cream with sugar, pepper, chives, dill then salt cucumbers. Then mix with sour cream mixture. Add a little lemon juice or vinegar. Serve very cold.

Shield, Wall, Cut the ties, & Clear the mind

Shield the heart, put up a Wall, Cut the ties, & Clear the mind. As I was done saying this to myself my cell phone rang and it was Tom in his low tone of voice asking me what I was doing this weekend. He asked if I wanted to come over and see a movie over his house cause his parents we're gonna be going to Florida with his sister for a week. I don't know what he has planned. I don't know what he wants and I'm not gonna wait anymore.


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Fish Oil Pills

I read a article about how fishoil can help with depression. I've been feeling down for a while now. I wanted to get out of this slump so when I heard that if you take a fishoil pill it'll help with depression. I've been taking these since I heard. I feel alot happier and it also helps your heart.

I forgave Tom yesterday. I heard from Rev Run on Twitter said: "Love is like quicksand, the deeper u fall in it,the harder it is to get out of it". This is so true. No matter how much Tom pisses me off. I have fallen in love with him and I've fallen hard. We were at National Coney Island yesterday and out of the blue he told me to give me daj buzi and then I told him in Polish on moje bupa. I think he seriously wanted me to kiss him but then again he jokes a lot. I wish he knew what he wanted. If he likes me then why can't he tell me. I'm old fashioned so I'm waiting for him to make the right moves to tell me what he wants.


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He's done it again

Yes, it's right. He's done it again. I'm not gonna answer my phone when he calls. I'm seriously thinking about not being friends with him. I don't need his friendship if he is gonna keep on disappointing me. I do forgive but I never forget but if you do it one too many times like Tom did it gonna make me question my friendship with him like I am doing now.


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Positives & Negitives

I'm thinking about the Positives & Negitives to Tom. I'm really confused. I don't have time to deal with this (think about it). My #1 pritory is to find a job and start making money.

I'm also still thinking about moving to Cali and opening up a business there. So I do have alot on my mind and on my plate. I'm not waiting for no one. I have nothing holding me back here so it's easier to make a real decision when it comes down to it.
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Selfish Asshole

I have come to realize that Tom is completly selfish and all he does is think about himself. I don't need a friend like that. Where it's all one sided. I don't want to have a friendship that it's all onesided.

Karma is a bitch and I love it when someone really deserves it like Tom does. He deserves a lot more for what he has done to me. I need a new life and by me moving to Cali will give me that. I'll get to meet new people and make new friends.

I'm ready to take a step to renewing my life. And as of now I don't count that Tom will be part of that life.

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Recipe: New England Lobster Rolls by Emeril Lagasse

Servings: 4 Difficulty: Easy Cook Time: 1-30 min

4 New England Style Hot dog buns
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter melted
1/3 cup mayonnaise, homemade, or good-quality store-bought
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup finely chopped celery
1 tablespoon minced shallot
1 tablespoon minced fresh tarragon leaves
1 tablespoon minced fresh parsley leaves
1 teaspoon chopped fresh chives
1 pound freshly cooked lobster tail and claw meat, cubed (from two 1 3/4-pound lobsters)
Serve with Cape Cod Potato Chips, Kettle Cooked

Cooking Directions
Preheat the grill or broiler.
Using a pastry brush, spread the inside and outside of each bun with the melted butter. Grill or broil the buns quickly to warm them through. Set the buns aside.
Combine the mayonnaise, lemon juice, and salt in a bowl, and mix well. Fold in the celery, shallot, tarragon, parsley, and chives. Then fold in the lobster meat. Place 1 bun on each plate, and divide the lobster salad evenly among the buns.
Serve immediately, with Cape Cod Potato Chips, Kettle Cooked alongside.

The last time

I am so disapointed right now. I am never asking my so-called-friend Tom to do anything. He always let's me down. He has done it too many times and it hurts me. He always wants me to go over his house, he never comes and sees me neither does Sarah or Elliot. I'm always going over there. I guess I'm not concidered a friend to them. I now just go on with my life and I'm focused on getting a job and myself. I have other friends I can hang out with.

Tom is a total turn off. I have a new look towards him. Today was the last time I've had enough.


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Refreshed & Renewed

This past Saturday I had the chance to get away from my life here at home and I went with my parents to our cottage up north.

It was good that I did. I needed a little mini vacay to clear my mind and enjoy the awesome views that I loved as a kid. I did some soul searching too. When I got back home I felt Refreshed & Renewed.


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An Author

I am in the process of writing a book about my journey through weight loss. It won't be done until I am done with this weight loss journey. I am hoping to publish it when I maintain my ideal weight.


I will post my before and after pictures and describe my goals along my journey.


I also have a few more books I am working on that doesn't deal with my journey. Maybe I am meant to be a author.


I gotta find what my career and I should be doing it by now but in my sisuation it's harder than it sounds.

I have been thinking alot. I'm searching deep inside the things that bother me. Well I need to let it out. Here it goes....

It bothers me and pisses me off when my mom tells me to be nice to my sisters that I'm gonna need them one day. She thinks I'm gonna end up like my friend Holly who can't really fend for herself and when her mother passes away one of her brothers are gonna take care of her.

I wish I was successful like they were. I will be one day. I just need to prove to my family I can make something of myself. Yes I am jelous of them. Their success, friends, and amount of money they make is what I dream about and hope I am able to have a life of my own one day.

When will I see my hopes and my dreams come true. Be able to accomplish things in my life.

I really do hate my life now. It's hard to get a job and I'm still trying to figure out what I am supposed to do in life and where am I supposed to be. All I gotta do is pray and hope it turns out the way it's supposed to.

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Fat Acceptance: Not for me

Who wants to except being overweight or overweight/obsese. I sure don't. I hate being obese. I can't believe that there are groups out there such as the NAAFA (National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance) which is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. There are pros and cons to being FAT. But there are more cons than pros.

Being FAT is not healthy. Being thin and healthy is.


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Losing Focus on my Priorities

Hroscope for April 14, 2010
About ten days ago it may have occurred to you that you should be making more of an effort to advance your career, If so, it will be easier for you to accept the challenges of today, as there is some probability you'll be asked to perform to the highest levels of perfection. Be careful not to lose yourself in the attempt! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I procrastinate a lot and I lose focus on what my priorities are. What I need to focus on is a job and weight loss. I am in a funk and I feel depressed.I want to get up and exercise and keep focused on finding a job. I am losing motivation on both. I am trying to figure out what my problems are and it's a lot harder than it is.

Dr. Phil Show Topic

I caught the last few minutes of Dr. Phil show about The Ultimate Fat Debate. They had Jillian Michales from The Biggest Loser, MeMe Roth, president of the anti-fat organization National Action Against Obesity, Michael Karolchyk, owner of the Anti-Gym, Peggy Howell from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, Marianne Kirby, author of Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere; Erica Watson, comedienne and star of the one-woman show "Fat Bitch".

I haven't seen Dr. Phil in a while but when I was channel surfing it caught my eye. This was a discussion about the insident that Kevin James got kicked off a Southwest Flight cause he was too fat.

I wanted to touch base on Peggy Howell from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. I don't get how someone is happy with the body that their in and doesn't want to become fit (thin) and healthy.

I'm strugging and trying to figure out what is keeping me from working out at the gym.

I'm pissed at that MeMe Roth, president of the anti-fat National Action Against Obesity. With such a stupid stereotypical organization.


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Finding the Right Gym for me

I'm not even using the gym I do now so will I do the same I as I did with the last 2 gyms I've joined. I sign up and go a few times. I don't know why I don't use it maybe because I don't like to exercise and I'm lazy. I don't even workout at home cause I am sick of the workout DVD's and I can't even get myself to take a simple walk in my neighborhood.


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Random Dream: Part Wedding

I had some random dreams last night and part of that was a wedding dream. I was at my wedding reception. My wedding planner told me and my husband to erase the dry erase boards. There were two small ones. I looked over to him and saw a face. It wasn't that clear but it was the face of Tom my friend/the guy I like. I hope this is a sign from GOD. I can see myself marrying him and having him by my husband. He's got some of the qualities I want in in a boyfriend. He's Cathloic, loving, caring, comes from a good family, he also told me he changed his mind about having kids after watching his nephew how the joy on his face made him feel about wanting kids.

There are some blocks in the road that I am waiting to brush away. Like he told me he still wants to be a priest but maybe in another state or being a brother. He doesn't know what he wants. He told me he is still young that he's got time to think about what he wants. I am hoping when he goes to Florida that he has a lot of time to think about his future and what direction he wants to go in his career. I hope that dream I had will come true and GOD has given me a sign that he is the one I am gonna marry. The best thing yet about this dream wad that I seen myself in my dress and I was THIN!!


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He did it again

Tom and I were supposed to do something today but plans had changed. I am DONE. I am pissed. The guard is up strong and the walls won't be coming down anytime soon. I will be focusing on me and my life. He makes plans and then most of the time he doesn't follow through. Then there is when I am trying to speak and he talks over me and he has the nerve when I do it to him he tells me let me talk. All he cares about is himself and he thinks he's always right.

I won't be hanging out with him anytime soon nor I will be answering the phone when he calls. He has done this too many times and to him our friendship is nothing to him. He lies and breaks promices. Our friendship has changed and I will never trust him or believe him for a long time.


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Hope things are starting to look up

I am excited that I got a job interview tomorrow at Oakmont. Which is right across from where I live. I hope and pray something comes from this. I don't know if it's for housekeeping or a dietary aid. I feel confident about this and I hope whatever job it is I will be able to do it. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed. I am so sick and tired of looking for jobs. All I want is to establish myself and have my own life living on my own rather than living with my parents.

I get this job and that will mean a start for me to saving money for a car and I can focus on what most means to me and that is my career. What that will be I hope is to start my own business. I can't give up. I will try my best to get all the help I need to help me succeed. I am doing this on my own. I will tell my parents and everyone else when things start to happen.