Feeling Positive!

I feel positive that this is the year that I will be getting a job and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am hopping and praying that I get a job soon so that I am able to start saving money for my move to California.

I am so freaking inpatient and I want to start to see my life turn out the way I want it. I know that things happen for a reason and good things take time but I am so sick and tired of waiting I just want to start seeing.

I need to move out of my parents house, out of Michigan to have my own life and to live a privet life.



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It's my life don't you forget

There is something that I'm afraid that will get in my way of moving out to California but I'm keeping in mind that it is my life and I make the decisions. No one is going to stop me from doing what I want to do.

The one thing that is getting in the way is Tom. I keep thinking that he will somehow he's going to change my mind. But I gotta remember those 3 things he had said to me in the past. The first thing was that straight out I wasn't his type. The next thing was when I asked him if he wanted to go to the movies and he said that going to the movies was like going on a date. The last thing was when I had my arm on the arm rest and he said why do you have your arm there it's not like were a couple.

I'm remembering that every time I have my doubts. I think that I still have feelings for him that its hard to let go and I'm still hoping that he'll tell me he likes me. So after I've given it a lot of thought and I said in my last few posts that I'm not waiting anymore for anyone. I'm making things happen in my life and not gonna wait anymore cause all that will lead to is me holding back on my dreams and being unhappy.

I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to start my new life. I can vision what my life will be living my life on my own. It's gonna be scary at first but I know that once I am used to my new lifestyle it won't be scary anymore.


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Finally start to see the light.

By living by others will make your live miserable. I know this by experience. I have been waiting to see if Tom would really tell me he likes me. I know that isn't gonna happen cause it would of happened by now and all it was doing was making me miserable and setting my life back and it kept me from doing what I really wanted and that is moving to California. That is what I want out of my life. For once I'm happy and I have made up my mind and in the end it's what I want.

In the past I also was trying to make others happy and that was getting my life no where. So I found out it that in order to live my life the way I want it I have to stop pleasing others and start pleasing myself. I have to start being selfish for once really start making my own decisions.

I've been obsessed with anything California. I've been California Dreamin ever since I have made up my mind on what I want to do that will make me happy and that is living my life for me and not for anyone else. I have truly happiness deep inside me and I am loving it!

California Soul

There is a song that I love listening to that when I do it goes deep within my soul and it touches my heart and that song is called California Soul by Marlana Shaw. I love the remix that was played on the Lincoln Lawyer soundtrack.

There is also a song I just recently found that also takes me back to Cali. That song is called Los Angelus by Sugar Cult.


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Off to a great start

Well today was weigh in day. I got on the scale and lost 4 lbs in less than a month. Wow! I hoe I keep it up.

As for this week I had a bad week. I hardly worked out but next week is a new week and I'll be back on track. When I
don't go to the gym I feel bad but I'm not gonna let that stop me. I'm still working on my excuses and my I don't feel like going to the gym mood. When I don't feel like going I make excuses and I don't go.

I am so obsessed with moving to California. I can't stop thinking about it. I research stuff on moving there and watch YouTube videos on anything I can find on California. California is my happy place. When I am down I think about living there and it always puts a smile on my face. I hope and pray that I will be able to move there.

I'm not going to put my life on hold and wait and see what things that will come to me. If I want things to happen I gotta make things happen. I gotta live my own life and in order to make me happy I gotta do what want and not make anyone else happy.


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Making things happen

Between last year & this year I have realized so much and things are getting a lot clearer. I know what I want and I'm going after it.

I'm not going to be making people happy anymore cause when I did I ended up not happy and miserable. I am focused on me and making me happy. In order for me to make me happy I need to start pleasing myself and doing what will make me happy. I'm not waiting for things to happen I'm making things happen.


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A year of change

Since this the year of change I'm thinking about becoming either a vegetarian or a vegan to become healthier. I thought about this in the past. If I'm not thinking about finding a job I have to focus on my health. I haven't focused on my health in a long time and I gotta learn all I can about a new lifestyle and slowly start changing my life.

Every time I'm not focused I'm just pushing my dreams and goals aside. I'm one step further to seeing myself happy.

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