Drinking away 2008

It's almost the end of 2008 and the start of a New Year 2009/ I am happy this year is almost to a end and that means it's a fresh new start of a new year and for me that means a lot of small little changes. this year I do not want to spend it alone so my plan is to spend it with Tom and get drunk and drink away 2008. If Tom bails out on me one more time. I promise that I will end my friendship with him. He let me down too many times. If he bails again I will go to the casino with my parents.

A lot has happened this year with divorce and death. Donna got a divorce and my grandma and my moms friend Barbra passed away. I am hoping that this coming new year will give me a lot of happiness and good changes in my life.

My Dreams

2 nights ago I had a dram about Lindsey Lohan don't ask me I don't know why and then Last night I had a dream another dream about my grandma. She was at her old home and she was in the backyard pulling out flowers. She love her garden. Another part of my dream after that I was looking at a book it was about beers around the world and who wrote it was Rachael Ray, she was walking around signing the books. She would never write a book about beer cause she is a cook. Maybe I had that dream cause I am in the process of writing one.

Why Wait Until New Years?

Why do so many people wait until New Years to start getting healthy. It' s a New Years Resolution that a lot of people don't stick to all year. After so many days or months they give up. In my case that was me a few New Years ago. Until I heard that why not start now rather than to wait until the start of the new year to start eating healthy. You'll just gonna gain a lot more weight and it's gonna be harder for you to lose it. That is how I see it.

There is hope

Last night I was talking to Tom and he told me that some people want him to become a Deacon instead of a priest so he can get married and have a family. He told them maybe well see. He told me in the beginning of the year that he changed him mind about getting married and wanting kids. He saw the look on his nephew face and how much joy it gave him.

He also told me that he needs to get all the time with me before I go to school. He told me is he is gonna miss me but I will be coming back a few weekends and a week during the month of April.

Was it or Wasn't it - I am not sure

I was taking to Tom today and at the end of conversation I thought he said I love you but I could be mistaken. Since I an 50/50% sure he likes me. Also 50/50% sure that he will be serious about the priesthood but I will have to see about that.

There are a lot of signs that are already there and I am not gonna forget about those. He said that he was not going to take classes next semester but he was gonna wait until that following semester and then live at the seminary. I will have to wait and see what he decided cause we were talking about his grandfathers house since his sister is going to be getting it temporary until she can find something else for her and her son since she recently got divorced anyways he said if the priesthood doesn't work out then he is getting that house. That gives me 50% hope but I will support him either way cause I love him as a friend and I am also falling in love with him.

I am waiting for that day when he finally tells me he likes me but right now all I can do it think about him and wait cause good things come to those who wait.

My dream

I had a dream last night that I had a baby with a old friend of mine that I haven't seen in many years. It was a baby girl but I don't know what I named it. Here is what it says about having a dream about a baby........To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted.

Praying for a better future

Horoscope for December 2, 2008
Try, try again today, Kristine. It can feel so terrible to 'fail' at something that you just want to hide your head in the sand rather than face potential loss again. Yet, if succeeding is important enough for you, you need to overcome embarrassment and fear. Most people have to try more than once to succeed - especially in the most important of goals. Don't give up on yourself. Your goals are worthy of as much effort as it takes.
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I am in the process of getting back to exercising again and I will be training for a 5K race. I don't know when and where that is gonna be. I don't want to rush it and I am taking my time to get back in to a routine that I can stick to that will help me succeed. After I do that 5K I will start training for a half marathon.

I want running to be a part of my life and do it on a regular basics. A new life for me. To become healthy and fit. I am hoping a praying that 2009 will bring me that and a better year.

Why I want to Join the Team in Training Team?

I want to be able to raise money and help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease and Myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families. Also I had a family member who had Hodgkin's disease and she is a survivor of 10 years and counting.

Not only will it help me find a cure but it is good for my health and I’ll be able to meet new people and experience a whole new world.

I plan to start jogging first then start training for a 5K run somewhere close to me and then I plan a taking on and training for a half marathon. Then I want to run my first marathon. I never thought I would want to do this but it’s a big change for me and I have to work up to it.

My Problems : I Need Change

Eating Healthy: First off I blame my bad eating habits to my parents. I never learned when I was little to eat healthy and when I want to it's hard for me to start. I aways fail and since I don't have a job and cant afford to go grocery shopping for myself I don't eat healthy and when my dad buys the bad junk food I eat it when I get the craving. Also I have a huge sweet tooth but I have learned how to take care of that by buying Extra Sugar Free Spearmint/Peppermint Gum and that usually satisfies my sweet tooth. I found out about the tip on my favorite show The Biggest Loser. Also I just stick to water and avoid all pop cause I found out how much sugar one can of regular pop had and if I drink diet pop that will mess up my diet and make me wanna crave carbs.

Exercising: Second, I need to develop a routine that will get up off my butt and be more active. To exercise more and stop making excuses and put it off until tomorrow and I never do it.

McCain and Obama : Hope for our future

I saw this article on yahoo and I thought it was interising and it gave me a sense of hope and relief for my and every Americans future. Here is the Article if you want to read it.

Obama and McCain say they'll work together.

I am hoping that The Republications and the Democrats can work together to fix the problems in our country. It will bring me such relief to know that America can be where it was before the economy was good and people weren't losing their jobs.

A good thing that is happening now is that the gas prices are below $2.00 and I haven't seen it this low since this is a long time. People are losing their home cause they can't afford them weather they lost their job or aren't getting paid enough to afford all the things they need in her life. More jobs need to be made and the jobs that are lost need to come back. We as Americans need to work together to help our county in being the way it was in the past.

I know a lot of people who are leaving the state of Michigan to move else such as California and if I can get a job there I will be leaving as soon as I can. A one way ticket from Detroit to Los Angeles or as I would say Michigan to California.

The Past

Well I was telling myself that how I missed hanging out with Talia and now I am talking to her again and will be seeing her the week of Christmas. I am actually looking forward to it. I has some pretty fun times with her. She moved to Louisiana where her boyfriend is and she told me she is happier with him. I am happy to hear it.

I am trying to get back on track on my diet wagon but this time I am making some changes and those changes have to stick. I will be developing new healthy habits that will help me in my life and weight loss.

About me

I am single and looking for that someone and I am also looking for new friends. I am shy at first but when you get to know me I’m not, I am also friendly and in my spare time I love to dance, hang out with friends, go to bars once in a while for a few drinks to talk, going to the movies, listening to music, writing poetry, driving around, traveling, and I love giving massages. When I'm with a group of people I'm usually the quiet one. I also enjoy cuddling, holding hands, kissing, quiet evenings on the couch watching TV or a movie. I also love to travel. In a relationship I am looking for someone who is honest, mature, fun loving, supportive, great sense of humor, a hopeless romantic, a good listener. Someone who knows how to treat me like a woman and sweep me off my feet, someone that knows how to make a woman feel special, and how to treat her like a lady. As a girlfriend I am supportive and kind. I will treat you with respect and I will do anything to make you happy. I’m just a shy fun loving person that is easy to get along with. I am the type of person who will do anything for their friends and love ones. I like the type of girl who will treat you the way I want to be treated, I love to be romanced and even though I don’t like surprises, I don’t mind them if they are good and meant for a reason. I enjoy going out, spending time with family and having fun with my friends. In my spare time I love to dance, hang out with friends, go to bars once in a while for a few drinks to talk, going to the movies, listening to all kinds of music, write poetry and I love giving massages, and renting a movie and staying in. When I'm with a group of people I'm usually the quiet one.

At times it’s hard for me to start a conversation cause I have little experience with meeting guys and talking to them. I enjoy spending time by myself from time to time, watching TV, and relaxing. At first I'm really shy but once when you get to know me I’m not. I'm nice, caring and a loving person. I am looking to find someone that I can talk to and be my best friend. What makes me happy : Right now it’s spending time with my Family and having fun with my friends is making me happy. What I hate : Fake people, liars. I believe that being honest is good but if you keep on telling lies it will catch up to you. I am so proud of my country. I don’t like war but the people who fought before us had to fight for our freedom. That is why we are fighting Why you should get to know me: I’m a friendly person and I usually get along with everyone I meet and I love to give massages. I am a pretty open person when it comes for doing things such as picking what to do for the day. I also like to cook but cause I know the way to a man heart is through his stomach. What have past relationships taught you (be positive)? To be more open to others. Describe some of the most important things in your life: My Faith, Family, friends, and music. Anything else you'd like to add? Give me a chance guys and you won't be disappointed cause if you know how to treat a woman, I know how to treat a man but no players.

I am a simple person when it comes to life. Doesn’t take much to make me happy. For fun I have varied interests such as movies, eating out but staying home with a movie and a meal is good too. Social drinker and prefer a quieter type of bar with karaoke although I don’t sing, but like to watch other people. As opposed to rap music blaring all night. Not opposed it but I don’t like it loud and all night long. Like all kinds of music except opera.

I love going out and having a good time, I’m into all types of music just depends on the mood. I’m very into my family, I’m not a big partier, but I don’t want to stay at home all the time either. I like going to concerts, movies, the beach, or anything else that might sound fun. I love animals, long blond hair, blue eyes, great smile. I’m very out going, humorous and silly, fun loving, and affectionate and I love to laugh and have a good time. I’m looking for someone to get to know and to make friends with and possibly forum into a relationship. i want someone sweet, romantic, funny but serious when needed, someone i can tell everything to and they can do the same. likes animals, is family oriented, likes to go out and have a good time but doesn’t mind staying at home cuddling and watching a good movie or 2. I’m not someone who’s egar to jump into a sexual relationship, I like to get to know the person first you know....if that’s you then id really like to get to know you!!

I don’t smoke but do drink. I am looking for friends and see where it goes from there Looking for some one to show me what it is all about or if its your first time we will learn together.

My last day I was in California. I had video taped my sisters friend/roommates dog which is a puggle. At first she barked at me but then the next day she got better and by the end of the week she was good. Well I do miss playing with her. That what I was donig in the video. Well watch and enjoy.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkCWvWLl8jU

Politics

~Just a quick update~
I am so sick and tied of hearing about politics. I am do glad that we only have the beginnig of next month. I am sick of Obama and his lies and BS talk. If he becomes president he will scew up America. He just tells the American people what they want to hear. When it all comes down to it, he is fake and full or hot air.

Well yesterday I went to see my friend Sarah and Elliot and their 2 beautiful baby girls. This was the second time I had seen them. I got to hold Ariana when I was at the hospital on my first visit and then yesterday I got to hold Rebecca and also Ariana. Holding them just makes me wanna have one of my own but one day I will.

when I was holding Rebecca, I made a joke to Sarah telling her that I was gonna take her home with me and Sarah wouldn't notice cause she has a another one. Then I said NO I wouldn't do that. Sarah is very lucky to have 2 beautiful baby girls and even though they are premature, they are both healthy.

Vegas 2009 Update 3

I had written months ago about gong to Vegas for my 30th Birthday. Well seems that I might still have classes then I might go in May. It was will during the week since I am on a budget and it's a lot cheaper to go during the week.

I know some of you had told me that you wanted to go and you are more and welcome to come. I will post more information on my blog when I know what dates,what hotel I will be staying at, and what we will be doing when we are there.

It will sure be a good time since I will be celebrating my 30th in Vegas and also what goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

A little about me - Reliving my past

Music has always been in my life since I was a little girl and it will always be in my life until the day that I die. I also love to dance and that goes with music. My favorite music era has to be the 80's I grew up listening to the radio. I remember dancing in my grandmas living room with the radio. I go down in the basement and play. But there are songs that remind me of my past and when ever I hear them I think back to a place of my past. I sometimes cry cause some songs remind me of my grandma. I lived upstairs from my grandma from the time I was born to age 10. So I have many memories songs like Live to tell by Madonna remind me of my grandma and it's weird cause the day my grandma passed away that song was playing. I don't remember if it was before or after she did. Also when I hear Crazy for you by Madonna that also reminds me of my Grandma.

Babies

My friend Sarah and Elliot just had twin baby girls yesterday 10-01-08. Ariana Grace Stephens 5 lbs 9 oz and Rebecca Sierra Stephens 5 lbs 10 oz, Both are so adorable and precious. I even got the chance to hold one. The last time I held a new born was a long time ago and all I can say is that holding a new born is awesone. So small and cute with the little fingers and toes. I went to go see them today and both are healthy and doing good.Oh and the Mom too. I am very happy that Sarah and the babies are healthy and nothing went wrong during her c-section. I have heard some stories and I didn't want anything to happen to Sarah. Congratulates Sarah. If you need anything let me know I am happy to help you.

Then earlier on in the week my cousin Jordana had her second baby and it was another boy for her. I am hoping she is doing well.

I love getting happy news from my family and friends. Since some of you know that it has not been a good one for me. I know that God takes life away but he also gives life. The saying: One life goes away while another one is born. That is the way life goes.

Writings

I have been writing poetry for a long time now and I have given a lot of thought about publishing my poetry and I am also working publishing 2 books in the future and maybe even writing more. I have put this aside for a while cause I have had writers block and every chance I get a idea I write something down. I still have to do some research on the subjects of my books.

Time for a change - Part 2

Life is too short to think about a guy. What I need is a fresh new start in my life even though I don't like changes that much but it's time for me to end this chapter in my life and start a new one. A while ago I made this thing that I compared the good and bad about staying in Michigan and also about moving to California.
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~Moving to California~Good & Bad~

The Good

• Angela & Patricia live there
• Better job opportunities
  
• Warmer weather/ no snow
  
• Always something to do
  
• Start a new fresh new life
  
• Ocean / Beaches
  
• New places to visit
  
• Celebrities Expensive to live there
• Meet new people
  
• Make new friends
  
• I love the atmosphere
• Make new memories

The Bad

• Earthquakes
• Mudslides
• Fires
• Miss my family and friends
• Get used to living in a different state
• I’ll have to learn how to drive in California
• Drive in lots of traffic
• Away from Family and Friends
• Miss out on Family Functions

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Staying in Michigan ~ Good & Bad~

The Good

• My family and friends are here
  
• I’ve lived her all my life
  
• No major disasters
  
• Cheaper to live here
  
• Cheaper gas prices
  
• Won’t miss Family Functions
  

The Bad

• Miss out on better job opportunities
• Weather changes - 4 seasons
• There aren’t any jobs here
• My past is here
• Need to get out of this state
• Missing out on new experiences

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~Michigan to California Summary~

Overall I am still thinking about if I really want to move to California. It all depends on if I meet someone here and fall in love and we decide to get married then I’ll stay in Michigan but if I am single by age 30 then I will move to California to pursue a new life. Moving to California will give me the opportunity to start a fresh new life. I’ll be able to make new friends and memories. To be able to leave my past behind. I’ll be able to explore new things that California has to offer. Leaving all that I know here, my family, friends, and all of the memories I have made here. I need to start a new beginning of my life somewhere away from my past. I’ll keep all of my memories that are good close to my heart and let those bad fade away. This is why I need to start a new life in a another state other than Michigan.

When I leave Michigan to visit California I’m happy to step off the plane, get my luggage and out of the airport. To smell the California air, feel it on my skin. Then Angie comes to pick me up, I get in the car & glance around LAX airport as Angie heads to her apartment, I look at everyone living their lives, Then I stay for awhile and enjoy myself, then it’s time for me to leave to go back home, Angie takes me back to the airport, I say good -bye, I am sad and I feel like crying, as I leave to wait for my plane I get tears in my eyes, then I board the plane, about 4 hours later I get off the plane, step into the Michigan air, feel the Michigan air, My mom picks me up and then it’s HOME! But…..I do miss California when I am not visiting.
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As you can see that there are a lot more advantages to moving to California rather than saying in Michigan. I tried to think of more but I couldn't. I guess that California beats Michigan so until I can think about more good things about staying in Michigan I guess my future home will be in California.

Time for a change

Since I got back from my trip to California. I can't think how many times I go and visit California and every time I hate to leave and can't wait to go back again. Since 2002 I have been wanting ot move out to California. I know it costs a lot of money to live there but I know what I have to do to move out there. Save a lot of money, by a lot I mean I need to make enough money to help support myself. By paying my rent,bills such as my car, grocery, and the things I need for my apartment.

When I am in California I feel so much happier. I can see myself living there and dealing with the crazy traffic. I have never drove in it but I have been in it with my sister, so I know how bad it can be during rush hour. I know I have all my family and friends here but it's time for a change and for me to get a fresh start in my life. As soon as a get a full-time job I will be saving up for a car and then after I get a car I am saving to move out of my parents house. That is what I can not wait for. I need freedom from them. To live on my own will be a BIG change for me and it's a first time experience and everyone goes though it and I am hoping that I can do it. I am also hoping then when I do move out it will be to California.

I did look at some apartments and I am liking the one that my sisters live in. It's close to the 101 freeway and close to LA and many things to do and see.

What I love about California is........I love the weather and there are so many places to go and see. My different kinds of restaurants to eat at and not to mention the experience to live in California is so different Michigan. Plus I am hoping I can be lucky and find a good job out there making a lot of money so I can be able to support myself.

Hi everyone,

I am so happy that I am in California and having a good time so far. so many things planned and cant wait for the wine trip on Saturday.I will write about that when I get back. So far I went out to dinner with my older sister and her friend Jamie last night and right now I am going to keep Lola company.(my sisters friend/roommates puggle). I love this dog. she'll be suprised to noticve when I leave next week Wednesday that Lola will be gone. HEHE.Well anyways I hope everyone is doing well. I will see you when I get back. Well that is if I want to.

She's done it again!!!

OMG! The damn Dugger family has done it again. That woman can't keep her legs closed. She has to keep reproducing. She is on her 18th Child. I thought she was done a few kids ago. I just do not like that family for some reason. I don't know what kind of religion they are but they have to fashion sense and she needs to stop having these damn kids.

YAY...One more day

I can't believe I am leaving for California tomorrow.It is such a beautiful day out today and tomorrow will be the same and I checked the weather forecast for when I am there and it's gonna be nice, no rain for the week I am there but they do need it.

I will be taking the redeye flight back home on Wednesday, September 24 and I will arrive home in the morning If anyone wants to do something when I come home let me know.I will gvie you a call when I am in town when I all rested up on Friday.

It's 2:45 in the morning and I can't sleep

It's 2:45 in the morning and I can't sleep. I am so excited that I have one more day until I leave for California. It's been a couple years since my last visit. Lots of new things to see when I arrive. then I still have to pack and print out my e-ticket. I can't wait to see both of my sisters and cosin and go on my first wine trip Also I am exctied to see that my friend Sara is finally here back in Mi. Can't wait to see her then sometime this month or early next month my other friend Sarah is going to have twins. I am hoping they are healthy when they are born. Then I have my 10 year reunion in November and I never thought this day would come to quick. Damn I feel old. It will be good to see old classmates again. Then I keep asking my self where has summer gone. Well for a week for me it will still be warm. Ahh that California sun. I love it.

Unplug myself from everything today

My horoscope for September 11, 2008.........This kind of strange day doesn't come around very often, Kristine. It will seem as though you no longer know what you want. Do you have a yen to work or to take off for the other side of the globe? People may become nonplussed because you will be thinking that to explain your point of view is pointless. The best thing to do may be to unplug yourself from your usual activities and go for a walk. At this point, you have nothing to lose.
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Wow this is true. Right now I don't know what I want to do. So I am glad that I am going to California next week Wednesday. I need a vacation away from here and the state of Michigan. Later on tonight I am going to plan on taking a walk just so I can clear my thoughts and figure out what I want to do. Plus I had a dream last night that didn't make sense.

9/11 - 7 years later- The Day that changed the world.

Wow! Its been 7 years since the attacks in New York City, Shanksville Pennsylvania, and Washington DC. I am watching the replay of that day on September 11,2001 on MSNBC. This is the day that changed the U.S and probably the whole world.

I remember what I was doing on that day. I woke up and answered the phone and my sister was asking me if I knew what was going on and I said no so she told me turn on the TV and I saw one of the Twin Towers on fire. My first thought was there was a fire but as I was watching I heard a plane flew into it. It was on every news channel. Back then I was 22 years old and now here I am 7 years later and I am 29 years old. Watching TV and reliving that day. This is the day that the war started and still we haven't gotten Osama Bin Lade. We don't know if he is alive or dead. We hacent heard from him in a while but we have to be ready for him.

I was in California 7 years ago before 9/11 and I am going again after 9/11 and security has been really tight to protect the passengers flying.

~Moment of silence~
8:46 a.m. - Marking the time of impact at the north tower.

9:03 a.m. - Marking time of impact at south tower.

9:59 a.m. - Marking collapse of the south tower.

10:29 a.m. - Marking collapse of the north tower.

We will never forget what happened on September 11, 2001.

I can't believe it happened

Well on Saturday I had my friend Sarah's Baby Shower. It was nice she had about 25 women there. When the Baby Shower ended I was waiting to help them and Amanda walked by and said she thought my purse was cute and I said thank you. Well anyways, I had helped bring the pop to their house and who else helped was Shawn (Kevin's Girlfriend) and Amanda (my ex-boyfriend's wife) . I had talked to some of Elliot's family until Tom called and I talked to him for a while and he asked me who was there and I told him some of Elliot's family,Shawn and Amanda. then after I got off the phone with him Amanda was talking to Sarah about going to dinner for my ex-boyfriend's birthday. Then as I got off the phone with Tom. She asked me me if I wanted to join them as I was more than welcome to join them and I said yes. So I went to pick up Tom and we went on our way. So we headed to their condo and waited for Kevin and Elliot and Sarah. Then we all headed to Fishbone's on the Nautical Mile in St Clair Shores.

We go there waited about 15 minutes for a table and then we got seated. We all talked I even talked to Amanda for a bit. I can't even believe that I would actullay talking to her and I was fine with it. By that I knew am over my ex. After dinner we went back to my ex's condo and had drinks and some ice cream cake which was good.

Over all I had a long day and I am glad that had happened and it is done with. I already got a thank you note from Sarah. This is the fastest I had ever gotten a thank you note for someone. I can't wait till she has the babies. I will go see her when they are born.

I have 1 week till I leave for California and I am getting excited to see my sisters and cousin Donna and not to mention Lola my sisters friend/roommate Jamie's Dog. It's a cute puggle and I'm going to be able to play with it during the day. I love dogs. When I arrive I plan on gong to dinner with my sisters but I'll see what happens cause both of my sisters have been fighting and I hope they make up when I get there.

Another Wedding Dream

Lat night I had another Wedding Dream but this time I saw myself Thin and wearing a Red wedding Dress. Why a red wedding dress. I don't know. I am a traditional girl and I would not be wearing a red wedding dress on my wedding day. Anyways, I was walking around waiting to get married. There were a few before me. The bouquets were fake and they looked ugly as hell. Not my style. Then somehow I was ducking and trying to hide while I was walking so that none of my guests could see me. I think I saw my friend Tom standing at the end of the aisle waiting for me but I wasn't sure. Right now I am not focusing on him. I have more important things to focus on such as my cleaning business.

Well anyways here is what dreammoods.com has to say.....To wear a wedding dress in your dream, indicates that you are evaluating and assessing your personal relationship......ok what I don't know is what this exactly means. It could mean many things, like I am trying to figure out if I should really forget about Tom or just leave it alone and let things work out on their own until I am focused on my life and that is going to take a while. Since I will be starting MCTI soon and then it'll take me 6 months to Graduate and then I will be focused on finding a full-time job while I am trying to figure out my cleaning business.

A New Beginning

~My Horoscope for Today~
You can expect your mood to improve today, Kristine. The projects that you have at the moment, both professional and private, should be progressing well. You feel reassured and are encouraged to make some new plans. If you continue to keep up the good rhythm you will have success redefining your professional life...
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I had another wedding dream last night but this time I wasn't getting married it was my cousin Lucy which is already married and I was her Maid of Honor. So I looked up what my dream meant and this is what it means....To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence.

Venting : Confused & I don't care

Last night I was over my friend Elliot's House and we were talking about things and some how we were talking about guys and girls and somehow he mentioned that I wasn't his type and pats me the leg. Then he still touches me and when we calls me he says how is my sexy mama. He said he does like this girl named Sheryl and wants to know how he can get her to go out with her then I tell him. I told myself this is my last draw and I will not be interested in him. I have too many things on my mind to think about some guy. I still want to move to California in the future. I still have things here to get accomplished before I start a new chapter in my life.

I am still thinking about owning my own cleaning business. I am focused on that getting the things I need to get done. I still have some thinking to do and I am so confused about Tom's actions. Since he did tell me I am not his type then I am taking that it's a sign telling me to back off and stop the flirting and stop thinking about men. I do hate them. They are nothing but trouble and right now and I need to focus on me.

Venting

~My Horoscope for Today~
If things haven't been going too well with those you spend the majority of your time with, it might be time to consider your expectations of them. Ask yourself what kinds of demands you place on others and if they're truly fair. Is it possible that you expect the same from others as what you give but that maybe they aren't able to match your level of performance? Consider talking with the people involved and find out how they are feeling.
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My horoscope is partly true. I am pissed that I always have to see my friend and he never wants to see me at my house. It's all one sided. All he cares about is himself and his own feelings. I don't know how to tell him in a way I don't want to have him get mad at me. It's been hard for me to express my feelings to anyone. I always keep them to myself. But I am sure that if Tom and I ever get together I am not gonna be seeing him as much as I am now or else we won't see each other.

Going Down

I was supposed to weigh myself yesterday but I did today. I am down 2 lbs from 253 and I would like to be under 250 by September 16th. I am hoping that I will be around 245. That would be awesome. I want to surprise my sisters and everyone who hasn't seen me since 2005. I just want to be healthy and look good. I can see my dream goal getter closer. I am still deciding on a professional photographer.

What the heart wants the heart will get.

~Quote from a Oprah e-mail~
If you haven't before, start having dreams. Have lots of them. Have great dreams, have small dreams. - James B. Stewart

~My horoscope for Today~
The energies from the day should have you feeling pretty good, Kristine. Your spirits should be high and laughing may well be a good part of your day. When you laugh, it gets other people going. They can't but laugh too. This is a powerful effect to have! You may find that you can transfer the enthusiasm and good feelings you have to those that are around you today. Share your positive energy by smiling, laughing and just being yourself.
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I have been thinking about after I Graduate From MCTI that I might start my own cleaning business. Right now I am reading into everything I need to know about dong this. My friend Tom said that he would like to help me and wants to work along with me. That would help me a lot since he knows a lot about knowing about what you need to know about owning your own business.

I had hang out with my friend Tom a couple days ago. I have a long day that day by waking up at 5 am and going to bed at 12 am. So anyways about the day. We had gone over Elliot and Sarah's house (friends of ours) and Elliot told us that he will be having a anti Baby Shower/ My ex and their friend Rob's B-day on September 6th. So Tom said that he would go. Along with their friend Kevin, and Elliot's Brother Tim. I will be seeing Shawn (Kevins girlfriend), and my ex-bf wife Amanda. So this is the first baby shower that I will be attending without my mom and knowing anyone there. Except for Shawn, who I met once and talked to a few times. I seen my ex's wife at Sarah and Elliot's Wedding last year but never got introduced to her. Witch I don't want to meet her but if I do I do.

So later on today I will be again going over to Toms grandfather house to help him clean up. I also want to see him again. I am completely fallen for him and I am in love. I have listened to my heart and what the heart wants the heart will get. I love spending time with him and can't wait till the day when he confesses he likes me and when we first kiss. I will be writing about that when it does happen.

Amazing

I am changing my life a little at a time. I am watching what I eat, I am more focused on me, I am going to church cause I want to not just because I have to. I pray at night more than I used to. I am more happier with my life now then I have ever been.

I had another dream about my grandma. This is like the 4th or 5th time I had one of her in it. Last night I had a dream that my mom and I were at my old house/my grandmas old house. We walked in the door and I always gave her a kiss and a hug and said my grandma in polish. We sat on the couch and talked and she looked happy. She was laughing. As I am tying this I am in tears. I know that she is resting in peace and she is safe up in heaven with God. I still do think about her and miss her very much and I will never stop thinking about her. I know she is watching down on me and her sprint is with me. But everyday is getting better and I am crying less and getting on with my life.

Here is what dream moods.com says.....To see your dead sibling, relative, or friend alive in your dream, indicates that you miss them and are trying to relive your old experiences you had with them. In trying to keep up with the pace of your daily waking life, you dreams may serve as your only outlet in coping and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.

Then again I had another dream about my family. My younger sister was holding my baby girl. I do want to have a baby girl and name her after my Grandma. I hope this dream ties together with the one I had a few days ago with the wedding dream I had. I have had wedding dreams before and could never see his face and then few days ago when I had this dream I saw my friend Toms face (the one I like). I am hoping it will come true and we do get together and get married and have a baby,

My Dream : Feels like it may come true one day

Two nights ago I had another wedding dream and this one wasn't the usual one that I don't see who I am marrying. I actually saw the guy and it was my friend Tom that I like. If I believe it or not I can actually see myself marrying him. I never thought that when I met him that I would ever date him or actually fall in love with him like I am. He calls me more often and we also flirt a lot too and I love spending time with him. I don't have a best friend but If I did he would be it.

I get daily horoscopes and here is what mine said today........The stars indicate that love and romance are in your favor, Kristine, and you will find that this area of your life is indeed going well. Shower your partner with love and affection. The more hugs and kisses, the better. You honey's ego wants to be stroked. You can earn points by petting their head and scratching them beyond their ears. Be careful, however, that you don't spoil them to the point that they become arrogant and self-centered, and end up disregarding all of your wants and needs.

My future looking Bright I gotta wear shades

I am getting excited that I have about 5 weeks till I am in California. I wish I could go there and never come back. I have found out that last week Talia (my ex-friend) moved to Louisiana. It's like damn all these people are moving out of Michigan and I am stuck here. Well what ever my life takes me and if I am meant to stay in Michigan then I will stay.

I can't wait till I get MCTI out of the way cause that way I can look for a job in my career and I can start saving money for a car and then getting the hell out of my house.

My weight loss is going good. I am noticing my curves and my clothes are fitting better on me. My goal of getting my pictures done by a professional photographer is getting closer but I can't decide who I want. I am leaning towards The Shooting Gallery but another one I am thinking of is Arising Images.

Quick Update

I have been MIA in updating my blog. I really haven't had the energy to write in here. There have been some good stuff to the bad stuff. All I have to say is that I will try to get back on here and write about what has been happing in my life.

Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries Recipe

For the Cheesecake : 4 (8 ounce) Philadelphia Cream Cheese, softened
1 1/4 cups sugar, divided
2 teaspoons vanilla, divided
1 1/2 cups HONEY MAID
Graham Cracker Crumbs
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 (16 ounce) container BREAKSTONE'S Sour Cream, divided
4 eggs

DIRECTIONS

1. PREHEAT oven to 325 degrees F. Line 13x9-inch baking pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan. Mix crumbs, butter and 2 Tbsp. of the sugar; press firmly onto bottom of prepared pan.
2. BEAT cream cheese, 1 cup of the remaining sugar and 1 tsp. of the vanilla in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended. Add 1 cup of the sour cream; mix well. Add eggs, one at a time, beating on low speed after each addition just until blended. Pour over crust.
3. BAKE 40 min. or until center is almost set. Mix remaining sour cream, 2 Tbsp. sugar and 1 tsp. vanilla until well blended; carefully spread over cheesecake. Bake an additional 10 min. Cool. Cover; refrigerate 4 hours or overnight. Lift cheesecake from pan, using foil handles. Top with strawberries just before serving. Store leftover cheesecake in refrigerator.

For Filling of the Strawberries : 24 Large Strawberries
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup of sugar
Graham Cracker Crumbs
Melted semi-sweet chocolate for dipping
Muffin Sized baking cups

DIRECTIONS For Filling of the Strawberries

1. First start by making the cheesecakes in advance. Let them chill in the refrigerator.
2. After you take them out put the cheesecakes in a Large bowl and mix it with your hands.
3. Put that Bowl back in the Fridge to let to chill and firm up.
4. After that is chilled combine the cream cheese, sugar and vanilla in a small bowl.
5. Roll into balls and SHOVED onto berries shape
6. Roll the berry in the Graham Cracker Crumbs
7. Place them on a Muffin Sized baking cup put in the fridge to set.
8. After that is done setting dip each strawberry into the chocolate and let it set. Enjoy!

How to Melt Chocolate

1. Fill a saucepan with water and boil it on low heat
2. Place chocolate chips or coarsely chopped chocolate in the top of double boiler over hot (not boiling) water and allow it to melt. Do not cover.
3. When most of the chocolate is shiny, stir until smooth.
4. Remove top of boiler from heat.

My Dream

I had a weird dream last night about me being pregnant and then giving birth to a baby boy. When I woke up I came online to look up what my dream meant and this is what dreammoods.com said : To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

I believe that this is towards my feelings for Tom. I am not ready to say anything and talk about it to him. I know that there is a time that it might happen.

Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries

I am putting my own twist on these Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries from Emenger's Berries from Susan Emenger. She was located in Maine but she closed up shop in the summer of 2007. I have been trying to figure out how she does it. It's hard but I am putting my own twist for these recipe and recreating these Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries.

I am going to be trying different kind of recipes for this and I will not stop till I am satisfied these are to DIE for.

So Stay tuned for the recipe.

Listen to and follow your heart

What I have learned that it is to always better to listen to and follow your heart. NO matter what it is rather be love or your dreams.

Through love:I never thought I like a friend. I kept on denying my feeling and a when I did I felt this guilt feeling but when I let my guard down and told myself I did. My feelings came out and as time went on my feeling have gotten stronger. Like has turned into LOVE.

First Tally Hall Concert

I just went to my first Tally Hall Concert and it ROCKED. I took some pictures and some video footage. It was at Comerica Cityfest. The show started at 7 pm and lasted about an hour.

The Ultimate Cheesecake Stuffed strawberries

The cheesecake stuffed strawberries are filled with rich & creamy New York cheesecake. This center has a vanilla accent. The graham cracker crust is crushed into the cheesecake filling. It is a real cheesecake... fit into the middle of the berry. Cheesecake stuffed strawberries are dipped in dark chocolate. They have elegant white chocolate petals on either side. The bottom is dipped in graham. This is the berry that was featured on the Food Network! From Eminger Berries.

Sadly the shop that made these went out of business but I have part the ingredients that are to this recipe. I will be working on it when I have the time to get it to where I saw it on the Food Network channel.

Favorite Quotes

Know the difference between instincts and fear. Instinct is that voice telling you to “go for it”. Instinct can make you rich. Fear is that voice telling you not to listen to your instinct. Follow people who can teach you how to crush the ‘fear voice’ and listen to your ‘instinct voice’. - ARMANDO MONTELONGO

Get Educated! It’s cheaper than the school of hard knocks - ARMANDO MONTELONGO

Knowledge + Business Systems + Action = Success! - THAN MERRILL

The goal is to work in your business for a short time period and then hire someone to replace you so you can work on your business. - THAN MERRILL

Find someone who is successful in the business and model what they do. Imitate then innovate.- THAN MERRILL

Failure is the first step. - THAN MERRILL

Don’t let fear stop you from living up to your true potential. - THAN MERRILL

Dream big, but start small and then work your way up to bigger projects. - RUDY MARTINEZ

Time is money. Use your time and money wisely. - PETER PASTERNACK

Excited

Today is the day that I will be seeing one of my favorite bands play. This is my first Tally Hall concert and I am excited. I will be seeing them at Comerica Cityfest in Detroit. I will be taking some pictures and some video with my camera. I will post some here.

My Website

Well I created another Gmail account and I am moving my Detroit site to a whole new one. I have a lot to do on the new site. Transfer all the data from the old one to the new one. I will update later with more information.

More than freinds

I am falling for him each and every day. I had seem him for 3 days straight and I have been talking to him for the past 4 days. Also we went to the Mt Cleams Stars and Strips Fair a couple days ago and we did are usual; flirting like holding hands and putting our arms around each other. We shared a elephant ear that I fed to him and a root bear float. We also went on the scrambler ride together. I am seeing him today. My mom got another room for free at Motor City Casino/Hotel.

I haven't felt this way for a guy since my ex and not to mention I met Tom through him. So If I just so happen to start dating him and it leads to him being a boyfriend and maybe him being my soul mate and us getting married then my ex will probably be in our wedding party which I don't want but I have learned to move on and I am over him so it's ok.

This morning when I checked my e-mail my horoscope said that: Are you romantically attracted to someone whom you know through your work, Kristine? If so, this is not a good time to pursue it. Right now you just might be wearing your heart on your sleeve a little too obviously. This could be unsettling for your friend, and might therefore sabotage the very results you're hoping for. Be patient and let the relationship develop as it may. Your feelings could well be mutual!

This horoscope was so to the point except that I don't work with him cause we are both unemployed. I can't want to see him today. I miss him everyday and that is a start of something. LOVE is in the air.

I know I am in LOVE

You know you love someone when you can't put into words how they make you feel. You get butterflies in your stomach when you think of them. You can't stop thinking about them and you can't wait to see to see them again. When I get these feelings I know I am in LOVE.

"I fell asleep in your arms. You were with me in my dreams and I awoke with you in my heart".

Ready for Anything

I am excited. I am planning to go to California this September. I am hoping to lose 10 lbs by then that is at the most. I wanted to go with them to their group Wine trip but she told me that we can go on our own wine trip and I said ok. I just want to go visit my sisters and I want to see my sisters new car and their Friend and roommates dog Lola. I just miss going to California period. It's been 4 years since I was there. Everytime I hear the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield it reminds me of California cause one of my favorite shows The Hills. 4 years has been way too long. But this will be my last trip before I get no freedom. I plan on going to MCTI for the Winter Term. I also need a vacation away from Michigan and my parents. I will come back refreshed and ready for anything.

A Better Life

As time goes by my weight loss of getting better and I lost another pound since June 10th. I weighted myself and I am now back to 250 lbs. So I am really excited to see the scale go down. Even though my weigh in isn't until tomorrow I weighted myself this morning and I can see my final goal get little closer. I am still trying to decide if I should go with Arising Images or The Shooting Gallery. They are both great photographers and I know I still have time to think about it but who ever I will pick will do a awesome job. I always read their blogs to keep up to date on what's new. I enjoy looking at their photographs and when I get married I will maybe have one of them be my photographer.

Anyways, I might be going back to school at Michigan Career Technical Institutes (MCTI). That school is a special trade school of people with learning disabilities (like myself). I can learn a trade that will help me get a job easier and my life better. I might wait until the winter term cause I want to go to California to visit my sisters and also I haven't been there since 2004. So I am do for a visit. This isn't something I want to do but It's a start to a better life.

A and E

Since I got my amp last week. I have been prating my chords on my guitar. My fingers are hurting but that is a good thing cause I am developing my left hand strength. I am also tiring to go to one chord to another. That is my biggest problem but I am getting the hang of it. I am trying to practice 20 minutes a day at least. I want to be able to play a song on it and the reason I got a guitar is to write my own music. I bought a electric guitar used from a friend of mine years ago and I just bought a amp this month. So I am hoping to get really good one day and maybe be in a band.

This weekend

I am going up north this weekend and I am a little excited. this weekend is for me. I will be doing some long thinking and I will need it. Even though I will have my cell I won't have a computer or cable which will suck but I can live with out them. I will be taking a lot of pictures around my cottage inside and out. I will post them when I get back. It's just gonna be my parents and I. I have a lot to keep me occupied in the car and for the rest of the weekend. I haven't been up there in years and there is a reason for that.

I need this weekend so I can refresh myself and come back a whole new person. Then I can finally see what my strengths and weaknesses are and I can work on those when I come back home.

I hope everyone has a great memorial day weekend and I will write and I will see you when I get back.

Who is to BLAME

I was thinking about now I got the way I am. I am blaming my parents. They have poor eating habits and I am not successful all because of them. They don't believe in me but one day once I get the body I want and I am successful with the career I pick out. I will show my parents that I did it on my own with out any of their support and it will feel good once I see my dreams come true.

On a better note I weight myself this morning and I lost 2 lbs. Which is good cause at least I am not gaining it. I feel a lot better about myself inside and out. I just can't wait till September and my sister sees a change in me. I am hoping to lose around 20 to 30 lbs.

Now that I cut my red meat intake. I am now focused on not eating fried foods. By me taking these small steps that I can manage I can get rid of my bat eating habits. I tried sot do it all at once but I failed when I did it. So I am seeing a change and I am liking it.

So I have been super busy with me focusing on my wight loss and my career. I am going back to school soon to finish up my degree. I am learning new things like learning how to play the guitar and knowing how to reading music, Chords, and tablature. So I have a lot on my plate and I an finally getting happy with my life.

Heading out to California

Ok it's the weekend and I am still busy. I haven't updated my blog in a while and I though since I have a little time now I would do it. I am still focused on me and I am a little bit happier now. I have some new hopes and dreams fo rmy future. I am trying to get my life straighted up and organized which is a good thing. I have a lot running through my head.I have so much planned for my future. I am positive that I will be heading out to California in the near future. I don't know when that is gonna be. i wanted to be there by the time I was 30 but isn't gonna happen I have a few more things that have to get accomplished here in Michigan and I am already on that.

My weight loss is going good even though I haven't gone to the gym in the lats 3 days but I have been exercising. this week was so busy for me. This weekend is still busy for me. I have to go to Babies R Us and get a gift for a baby shower for tomorrow. Yes I know it's late but both my mom and I haven't had time. Then tomorrow is the baby shower at 1:00 p.m. I haven't been to a baby shower in while so it's a good thing. So I am off to the store to buy a gift then I have to head to the gym. I will update more later I have a lot more to write.

Eye Candy

WOW. I am loving the eye candy on my new gym. There a lot of men trainers and also men who workout there are all so good looking. It gives me a little motivation to go to the gym more. Anyways, I am still sore. I am feeling a lot better on the inside and hope I keep this up.

Cancer

Well it's been a while since I last wrote in here. I thought I give a update to what has been going on. Well A friend of the family passed away a week ago of Cancer. Cancer can be a deadly disease and there are many forms of it. I have known a few people who have had it and lost their battle to it.

My next door neighbor's husband died a few years ago. He had it once it went away and then it came back and it came back worse and when you have for a second time it is rarely someone ever lives. Then my cousin had Hodgkin's Lymphoma which is a another form of cancer and she is a survivor of that and I pray that doesn't come back. Then recently I heard that a guy I go to church with has cancer. I also praying that he can survive that. I hope that one day that they will find a treatment for cancer that it will nevcr exsit again.

Then with my dad having a heart attack and having 2 stints and a defibrillator on his heart makes me worry. I have a family history of heart attacks and I am now starting to realize I have to get healthy and watch what I eat and exercise. I have already cut my meat intake. I am eating more chicken and seafood. Then I have to focus on not eating fried foods and foods that have a lot of fat in it.

I started to exercise again. My new gym opened up on may 2nd and I just went today for the first time. I forgot how sore you can be after not working out in a long time but I am back on the wagon and feeling great. I just hope that I can meet someone at my gym and I can have a workout buddy to help motivate me.

I also need to lose about 20 lbs before September but I am not really not that focused on that cause if I do I am setting myself up for disappointment. I am also geting in shape to run a 5K soon.

The Story of My Life

This is where Motown was born. We are the Motor city. This is my story of where I grew up and the city in which I love. The city is DETORIT.

You might be thinking that Detroit is a bad city with a bad rep but I don’t see it that way. I have lived here all my life. I have experienced the good and bad of what Detroit has to offer. As Detroiters we take great pride in our city. We have the 2 of the best sports teams in Michigan and they are the Red Wings and the Pistons. We are fixing up our city to attract more people to visit our great city. We are bashing the bad reputation that you have of the city of Detroit. We are changing as we fix up the old vacant building and put up some new ones. We are making room for more visitors to come and experience the city I love.

I was born in 1979 in Southfield Michigan on April 22, 1979. I Lived in Detroit until I was 8 and I have made so many great memories from my childhood. In 1985 I started Kindergarten at Logan Elementary and made a lot of new friends. Then from first till third grade
I attend Our Lady Queen of Angels. It was a Catholic school where we had to wear blue, white, and silver uniforms.

During my childhood in the 80’s I remember going to Boblo Island taking either the St Clare or the boats to the Island. There are songs that remind me being on the Boat from Celebration by Kool and the Gang, Summertime Blues by George Thorogood, Let’s twist again by Chubby Checker. All these songs were played on the Boblo Boat when it was coming from the Island back to Detroit. Boblo Island was in Canada. I also remember when I was seating on the boat people were feeding the seagulls and being afraid I was gonna be pooped on. I was also scared of being too close to he blue rail and afraid that I was gonna fall in.

Then my parents moved to Sterling Heights in the late 80’s and ever since then I love to visit.


I loved to see all the old memories that came back to me. I love that I could come back and see a part of my past. I am so glad that they are restoring the SS Ste. Clair. Every time I come back this site I get tears in my eyes and it takes me back to a time when I wan little girl. Seeing the old blue trim on the rails just brings me back of how excited I got when I was going to Boblo Island. The memories will stay with me the rest of my life. I will be sure to be on that boat when it opens up.


As you enter the city and enter downtown there are many attractions to see. Detroit isn’t a small city you will find that it is a large city with many historic sites., churches, and restaurants. We are putting on a new face to our city. Once you come here and visit you will come to find to love it and will want to come back. We take great pride that we love the city of DETROIT. When you come and visit we have the People mover to move you around the city. When you are on the People Mover take in sites of Detroit. Experience the sprit in which we love. The food and atmosphere will come to amaze you.

The city of Detroit is home to Sports such as the Pistons, Red Wings, Lions, and Tigers. Every year in January we host the International Auto Show where you can see the new models of the beginning of the year .Here there is nothing like a Michigan Coney there are cheap and good they are a hot dog with chili mustard and onions.

In 2006 Detroit was the host to the 40th Super Bowl where people came form all over and experienced our city. We welcomed them with open arms and in return they loved our city. This city looks great all 4 seasons of the year. We also have won the 2006 WNBA basketball Championship. Also in 2006 The Detroit Tigers won the American League Championship Serious and went to the World Serious and played the St Louis Cardinals.

I love the fact that I know many hidden treasures around Detroit and away from the city.
Around Detroit we have Mexican town, Greek town, Coney Islands. Away from the city on Michigan avenue you will find a little place called Telways. This is a little known place that I grew up eating at. They have the best cheapest hamburgers in Michigan. Not many people know of this but I do.

This is my city in which I love. I grew up here all my live and it will be with me where ever I go. There is nothing more better then to feel the pride for your own city. Who ever grew up here we hand a strong pride for our city. Kid Rock ,Eminem, Uncle Kracker, Ted Nugent. Are some of the few Celebrities that have grown up here. I still go back to the city. I love the city even though I live in Sterling Heights.


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Who I am

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I’m just a shy fun loving person that is easy to get along with. I am the type of person who will do anything for their friends and love ones. I like the type of girl who will treat you the way I want to be treated, I love to be romanced and even though I don’t like surprises, I don’t mind them if they are good and meant for a reason. I enjoy going out, spending time with family and having fun with my friends. In my spare time I love to dance, hang out with friends, go to bars once in a while for a few drinks to talk, going to the movies, listening to all kinds of music, write poetry and I love giving massages, and renting a movie and staying in. When I'm with a group of people I'm usually the quiet one. At times it’s hard for me to start a conversation cause I have little experience with meeting guys and talking to them. I enjoy spending time by myself from time to time, watching TV, and relaxing. At first I'm really shy but once when you get to know me I‘m not. I'm nice, caring and a loving person. I am looking to find someone that I can talk to and be my best friend. What makes me happy : Right now it’s spending time with my Family and having fun with my friends is making me happy. What I hate : Fake people, liars. I believe that being honest is good but if you keep on telling lies it will catch up to you.

I am so proud of my country. I don’t like war but the people who fought before us had to fight for our freedom. That is why we are fighting

Here is a little about myself: I am shy at first but when you get to know me I‘m not, I am also friendly and in my spare time I love to dance, hang out with friends, go to bars once in a while for a few drinks to talk, going to the movies, listening to music, writing poetry, driving around, traveling, and I love giving massages. When I'm with a group of people I'm usually the quiet one. But If you get on a good subject I'll probably talk. I also enjoy great conversations, cuddling, holding hands, kissing, quiet evenings on the couch watching TV or a movie, and holding hands. I also love to travel.

Why you should get to know me: I’m a friendly person and I usually get along with everyone I meet and I love to give massages. I am a pretty open person when it comes for doing things such as picking what to do for the day. I also like to cook but cause I know the way to a man heart is through his stomach.

What have past relationships taught you (be positive)? To be more open to others.

Describe some of the most important things in your life: My Faith, Family, friends, and music.

Anything else you'd like to add? Give me a chance guys and you won't be disappointed cause if you know how to treat a woman, I know how to treat a man but no players.

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Type of guy I am looking for
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The type of person that I am looking for: maybe first friendship then possible to develop into a relationship. You have to build and see if it works out to be a friendship or something more. I don’t want someone that plays games. I want someone that is honest, faithful, loving, funny, and caring. The best place to go on a Date with someone would be a nice romantic dinner then after maybe a walk or going somewhere quite and private to talk. In a relationship I am looking for someone who is honest, mature, fun loving, supportive, great sense of humor, a hopeless romantic, a good listener. Someone who knows how to treat me like a woman and sweep me off my feet, someone that knows how to make a woman feel special, and how to treat her like a lady. As a girlfriend I am supportive and kind. I will treat you with respect and I will do anything to make you happy.

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2003
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This year I am going to be making a lot of changes. The first thing is I am focusing on myself and not letting others get in my way. The second thing is I’m going to get a better job, third is losing this weight, and forth is getting a car. I am not quite looking for a man but when someone comes along I will give it a try but for now I am being happy single and I am loving it. I do get lonely at times but I know if I do have one now that it will screw up my plans and goals. Talia told me don’t look for a man let them find you. I think I am going to give it a try. So I might meet a guy when I’m not even looking for one. I hope that works out. I am now focusing on my life and if someone comes along let them. I doubt it but as soon as this weight comes off I am sure to have more fun and a good-looking body that I can’t help to flaunt. One thing I am afraid of is moving out on my own because I have never been on my own before and I don’t think that I would be about to make it in life.

There are a lot of ways to pick yourself up when you get out of a long relationship. If it wasn’t for my family, friends, music, and my strength. That is what kept me form being depressed and it also kept me strong when I was feeling down.

Christina Aguilera’s CD “Stripped” helped me in a lot of ways. She was in a bad relationship and she wrote about it. I myself write poems and that helps me. On her CD there was a song called Fighter , this song goes “Cause if it wasn’t for all you tried to do , I wouldn’t know now just capable I am to pull through“. The best part of breaking up with Rob was knowing how strong I was to go through a break up. Cause I am a fighter. Her second song that helped me was the song “Soar” This song means a lot to me. I love the message in it. It tells you to spread your wings and soar no matter what people say to you that brings your dreams form coming true. The songs goes “ In life there's gonna be times when you're feeling low and in your mind insecurities seem to take control we start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval we keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is Don't be scared to fly alone find a path that is your own love will open every door it’s in your hands the world is yours don't hold back and always know all the answers you will unfold what are you waiting for spread your wings and soar”. It was about time I take my live in my own hands and do what makes me happy and to spread my wings and soar. Christina said, “lift your head high and stay strong keep pushing on”. No matter how many people push me down with negativity I will stand up and never fall down cause I will work hard on my dream to make it come true.

Her last song that helped me was “ Keep on singin my song” The song also has a good message in it. It goes “I’ve been struggling couldn’t go on , but now I’ve found I’m feeling strong and I’m moving on” “I’m humanly unable to please everyone at the same time so now I find my peace of mind living one day at a time” “ I have made a decision never to give in till the day I die no matter what I’m gonna carry on I’mma keep singin my song “ . The song has a strong message in it, it tells you no matter what you do you can’t please everyone around you, you have to make yourself happy.

The day my ex Rob and I Broke up. I felt a feeling that I have never felt before. The weight off my shoulders went away. I gained so mush self-esteem and I lost 10 pounds. I gained a new life in 2003. I started to work out more. I am moving on in my life and I love it.
The Year 2003 was a tough year for me it was a beginning of a year of being single for me. At first it was hard to deal with the fact that I was single after 2 and a half years but then it got a lot easier as time went on. Later on in that year Christina Aguilera’s CD Stripped come out and that had helped me though a lot. On that CD. The song named Fighter. Even though she was dealing with a different situation with her ex-boyfriend. I felt that I was a fighter and I can pull though this pain I was feeling.

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2005
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Soon this year is going to come to an end. There are only 4 more months and today is the 4th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. Right now in my life I am trying to figure it out. I have been employed for a year and 5 months and I am trying to get a job to where I can start saving money and move out hopefully with Tom. If he doesn’t change his mind. Since he wants to buy a house and will be charging $110 a month. You can’t beat that anywhere else. I hope to get a job soon I can’t live anymore being unemployed and having no money for things.

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2006
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2-19-06
This year is getting off to a ok start. I finally got a job on February 16,2006 working at Du-Val. I am a assembler making small parts. I am getting paid $8.00 an hour and I hope to get a raise at the end of my 90 days which is May 16th. That is my first goal I have accomplished. My 2nd goal is getting back on Jenny Craig plan. I am going to go this Friday the 24th and I am getting the food in which I missed. I am focusing on this week just the exercise part and not making any excuses. I want to lose 15 pounds by June 1st.

My 3rd goal that I am about to accomplish is join a parish and that might be on Saturday the 25th with Tom and join at Sweet Heart of Mary. I am finally seeing my goals getting accomplished and I am 50% more happier with my life. I am going to thank God everyday for this and hoping he can help me to lose this weight.

Want Love but not ready for it

I want to be in love and have someone love me but one day I will. Right now I am too busy and my life is crazy. Love can wait. It's not going anywhere and when I find that guy that will love me for who I am then it'll be well worth it.

I need to find a full time job and get a car of my own. I also want to move out of my parents house. Living in Michigan sucks. The unemployment is horrible. I wish I can move to California so I can be a lot more happier

Bands and Musical Groups

There is a difference between bands and musical groups. Being in a band you have to play a musical instrument. Rather it be drums,play a guitar or a bass. You also need a singer. Being in a musical group is just either 4 to 6 people singing and dancing.

When I was younger I wanted to be a singer in a group, I asked my mom if I could get singing lessons and she told me that I would right away give up. I think the reason i gave was I never tried and she never gave me the support I needed. Now I am an adult I am making my own decisions and trying things out on my own. I know that I need to practice my craft in order to be good at it. I was in band in 5th and 6th grade and I was horrible at it cause I never practiced and no one taught me. My never pushed me to to do anything I didn't want to do when I was younger. It was something I wanted to do and I did it. But I did wish I has lessons.

Now I am still doing what I want and I will learn to play the guitar and turn my poetry into songs. This is what I have wanted to do for quite some time. I have to thank my friend Elliot for inspiring me to get into the guitar. Also the band Tally Hall for inspiring to start practicing the guitar again. Because of them I am open to anything that comes my way.

Inspiring female guitar players:

• Sheryl Crow
• Bonnie Raitt
• Susanna Huffs (The Bangles)

Last summer I had went to my first Bangles concert with a friend and I have to say that Susanna Huffs is by far my favorite guitar female player. She rocked it out.